Out

So I've decided to kill the blog. As it turns out, I really don't have the time or energy to post clever and/or interesting things in a long-form medium. I've found that I prefer FB and Twitter to get my point out there. I may bring this back to life someday, though probably not on Blogspot. I'll most likely rework my website (yes, I have one, and no, it hasn't been touched in several years) and use it.

Until then, keep it greasy.

Slow Goin'

Hey there, kiddies.

Shocking little has been happening lately. I've noticed that, when I'm on my work schedule, I tend to not do anything else during those days, probably because I know I'll have several days off in a row soon afterward. I switch each day between my pajamas and work clothes. I rarely wear jeans on my days on, which is really weird for me. It feels like being in a rut, but kind of a controlled rut. I know I'll have all kinds of time to get my shit done when I'm off, so I don't sweat it. DAMN, this schedule rules!!!

Should I Be Doing Something Else?

I have a hard time relaxing. I'm used to always having something to do, or, more accurately, having TO DO SOMETHING. But in this week off of school before summer classes start, I find myself with the nagging feeling that I'm not getting something done that I should get done. Even when I finish up the stuff I plan to get done, I still keep thinking that I'm missing something. It's really fucking annoying. Just saying.

Likin' The Nightlife = Likin' To Boogie

Hey there, kiddies.

It's about 2:45am, and I'm trying to maintain my newly developed sleep schedule. I just finished my first four days of midnights, and now I have the next three days off. Once I'm back, I'm officially on my seven-on / seven-off schedule. That will be the next hurdle to, uh, hurdle. I haven't done seven straight days on midnights yet. Not at Walgreens, anyway. I did it plenty when I worked for the PT, but that was a long time ago. It should be fine. I have easy access to a boatload of Coke, so I'll be able to make it through the nights. The trick will be maintaining some semblance of a similar sleep schedule on my days off. I probably won't stay up until 10am like I am now, but I'll get it rather close. If I try to go back and forth a lot with my sleep patterns, I will most likely have a psychotic break. Best to avoid that, what with summer school about to start and all.

The trick will be having things to do at 2:45am. At least with school I'll have homework and junk to do. Beyond that I'll need activities that don't involve making a lot of noise. Tonight I dumped two garbage cans full of grass clippings in the woods at the end of my block. I'm sure I looked pretty shady walking down my street at 1:30am with a full trash can of grass, though I doubt anyone saw me. The downside is that now my hands smell like rotting grass, a smell that won't come off despite three sepreate hand-washings. Kinda gross.

What I'll Miss Most

Hey there, kiddies.

I've had a lot of extra time to think lately. My drive to work, while a much further distance than it was previously, takes about the same amount of time, only now I get to drive most all of it on the interstate, as opposed to before when I had to take surface streets the whole way there. Much slower. Too many lights. And now, too much construction. The point is, now I can space out and just drive a fairly empty road without having to stop every seven seconds. During that time I've figured out two things. One, Smiley's show is actually funnier than Bob & Tom, though overall they both kinda suck. The other, I figured out what I'll miss the most about my old job.

I hadn't thought much about the subject before. I just didn't pop into my head. But as I drove I started to break down the various elements of the job that I actually enjoyed. These elements were few, to be sure. The job itself was actually really shitty, but there were some high points. Please note that I am NOT including people in this list. Yes, I liked most of the people I worked with in Indy. The people I couldn't stand where, oddly enough, the people I was told that I would not be able to stand before I started the job. Amazing how that worked out.

Anyway, excluding people, I realized what I'll miss the most. I really liked the parking. Sure it cost $10 a week, but it was covered (no ice scraping or 2000 degree car) and I could park there anytime I was downtown, which came in pretty handy during football season. That was pretty cool. Next, I miss my iPhone. I still have the phone, as I had to buy it myself because the company I worked for would only buy them for "certain" people. Nice. If I hadn't bought it myself, I would have been stuck with a three year old Blackberry. It sucked. But the iPhone was friggin' awesome. I love that thing. Next, I liked the money. It wasn't a lot, and we were all actually way underpaid for the demands placed upon us. But that's the way it goes when the firm you work for is failing. Finally, I enjoyed MacBook Pro they gave me. I liked having a laptop, espcially one with the pop of a MBP. That's pretty much it. Literally every other aspect of the job was a nightmare.

Here's what I realized next. I'll someday be making much more money on my current career path than I ever would at my old job. I had pretty much reached the last level I could (or, more accurately, would want to) reach, and since raises were being all but eliminated, I wasn't going to be bringing in any more scratch. And since I still have my iPhone, I can always get the service myself, so that's not a big deal. And MBP's can be purchased at your nearest Apple Store. So in the end, the only thing that I miss about my old job it the parking.

Parking.

Yep.

Goals

Goal the first: To add a new post this weekend. Hopefully on Saturday.

Still Around

Hey there, kiddies.

Sorry I haven't posted for a bit, but I've actually gotten a gig. It's weird, I didn't think I'd ever work in retail. It took some deep soul searching, to be honest. I thought about it for a while, and I realized that I used to really like working in at restaurants, but I really didn't like cooking food. Weird, I know. But the rest of it was rather fun. All the running around, always having things to do, blah blah blah. So this was almost an obvious move for me. I'm a bit more glad that things at my last job worked out the way they did. I may not have gotten this opportunity if I was still wasting my time at the other place.

So, to recap, I'm working now, but I'll still keep posting.

More On Ads

I think my favorite new stupid is the Microsoft ad with the semi-retarded redheaded chick looking for a laptop. Before I get started, I'd like to point out that I am a major proponent of ladies with red hair being prominently displayed on TV. As far as I'm concerned, the networks should cast nothing but hot redheads in every series they produce. Redheads are awesome. This is a fact. And since this is TV we're talking about, I know that the particular chick in this PC ad is an actress, and is not actually responsible for the bucket of bullshit dropping from her otherwise lovely mouth. So nothing I say from here on out should be misconstrued as an attack on this actress and her perty, perty hair. All references to her will be made toward her character, the aforementioned semi-retarded redheaded chick looking for a laptop.

So, the commercial starts with this idiot looking for a computer, specifically a laptop. Her requirements are that it be under $1000, "speed," a 17" display, and a comfortable keyboard. So right off the bat we know that this gal isn't going to MIT. The under $1000 part is fine. The "speed" request is about as vague as a statement could possibly be. There are a multitude of factors that go into the "speed" of a computer. And she wants a comfortable keyboard. I don't even know what to think about that. I would actually think more women would be pissed about this statement as it makes women look like the idiot consumers that advertisers want them to be. Wanting a comfortable keyboard is akin to picking a car because it has nice cupholders. It's pretty irrelevant to the operation of the product. Armed with these "needs," she ventures off into a world she's not ready for. And, perhaps, the world is not yet ready for the likes of her. But that's a topic for another day. Let's move on.

Strawberry Shortcake's first stop is to the Apple Store, where she is dismayed to learn that Apple laptops tend to cost a few scheckles (the only model under $1000 is the $999 MacBook, but it has a meer 13" display). So that immediatley kills her dream of ever owning a Mac laptop. Next she pops over to Best Buy or someplace like that, where magiclly she finds a HP model that gives her everthing she could ever want in a laptop. Of couse, when she gets home and tries to actually use the bleeding thing she will find out very quickly that the extra couple hundred bucks she saved by going PC was so not worth it. But that's not the point of the ad. The ad has nothing to do with the fact that she just bought a crappy laptop with an even crappier operting system. The point of the ad is that the pretty (but dumb as a stick) girl found the pretty (but equally as dumb) laptop of her dreams.

Why the hell aren't more women pissed off about commercials? I mean, I'm cheesed off just because I'm technically-minded. I'd be hella pissed if I were a girl and ads were being tossed out onto the air portraying women (hot though they may be) as being this gd vapid and uninformed.

The morals of the story? 1) Macs are way better than PCs. 2) Redheaded chicks are hot. Thank you for your time.

Main Street / Wall Street

For some reason I've been noticing commercials more often. It's possible that I've been watching too much live television so I can't TiVo through the ads like I normally do. Anyway, in watching these ads I've picked up on a few things, one of them being the proliferation of the the Wall Street vs Main Street tags. Since the economy has been in the shitter I've been hearing this a LOT. I'm at the point where I become angry when I hear it. Maybe the first one or two ad writers who though this quasi-catchphrase was clever (it's not, BYW, and it's actually quite old), but it seems like every gd writer who can't think of anything better to crap out onto the airwaves has decided to glam onto this horrifically fucked-out tag. STOP IT!!! BE ORIGINAL!!! I don't want to here about any damn streets, or fat cats (whatever the fuck those are supposed to be), or any other shit like that. It's bad enough I'm forced to endure your crappy, unentertaining ads, but at least pretend to try to make a decent ad.

That said, I will give props to Sony. Last night I saw an old Sony VCR ad from, like, 1982. The tag on the ad was about recycling old commercials as part of a whole green promotion. That was clever. Much love.

More Options, Dammit!

I've been working on my class schedule for the next two semesters (well, two summer sessions, then the fall). The thing that bugs me is that so many classes that I need to take are only offered once a year. I get that some of these classes are specialized, and that only but so many people are taking them each year, but only offering them once? That can really screw up a schedule, especially when I'm trying to graduate in two years. I have three classes left to schedule. I plan on taking them this spring. However, I have no idea what days these classes will be offered. With my luck, all three will only be available on, like, Tuesday or something. It's such a crap shoot. This was so much easier when I was working on my undergrad.

Bad Ad

What the fuck is the deal with the Boost Mobile ad with the two pigs eating ham? Two pigs, eating ham (apparently from a pig they once knew), talking about cell phones. Fuckin' weird.

Coming Soon...

I have a whole long bitch session on deck for next week. Topics will include digital cable, the new Windows commercial, and some other stuff that I wrote down at home. I'm a touch drunk right now, and I'm not in a typing mood. More to come...

Today's Entry Didnt' Quite Happen

Hey there, kiddies.

I funny thing happened on the way to the blog today. I started typing a long and detailed bitch session about trying to apply for unemployment. I was about three paragraphs in when, much to my surprise, I was able to get everything worked out. Once I did, I felt bad about bashing them and their (still somewhat) ass-poor system. But it's not as bad as I once thought. So there you go.

Still, I should complain about something. Uh...how about airline food. Do people still hate airline food? Me, too. It sucks. Though, come to thing of it, I've never eaten on a plane.

How about this? It's cold outside. That sucks. Peace out!

Cultural Differences

I got my daily e-mail from school today. It's just about the goings-on at and around campus. Here's one of the topics:

Intercollegiate YMCA to Hold 1st Annual Cornhole Tournament

I've lived here in Southern (that's right) Indiana for about seven years now, and I'll never get over the fact that they refer to a beanbag toss game as "cornhole." If you're like me, the term "cornhole" has a very, very different meaning. And it should have absolutely NOTHING to do with the YMCA.

Stylin'

I tried some Crew Grooming Cream today. It came free with some Crew shampoo I bought a while back. Does it hold my hair in place well? Yes. It does, however, smell like the nursing home my dad's uncle was in for mentally impaired geriatric patients. If you've been to a standard nursing home before, then you know a bit about what I'm talking about. This place was that times 50. It has a Hobo Power of roughly 65 (if you don't know from Hobo Power, that's pretty bad). It's super antiseptic meets floor cleaner purchased in bulk meets abandonment and despair. Awesome.

Lazy Part II

I have a feeling that today (Sunday) is going to be a lot like yesterday (Saturday), the only real difference being that today I'm wearing pants.

Sunday was always the crappiest day of the week for me growing up. First, I had to go to church, which is always boring. Plus, my parents made me dress up when we went, so I had to be bored and wear uncomfortable clothes. When we got home the real boredom started. Since we didn't have cable, and I hated football as a kid, there was nothing on TV. "Meet The Press" is not entertaining to an eight year old. Sometimes we'd get roped into a Sunday drive. Some of you have done this, I'm sure, though it's probably pretty uncommon nowadays. Basically, if you don't know, you were stuck in the car (in my case, the back of a 1964 Chevy) for a few hours while your parents drove around aimlessly. Through the town you already lived in. Seeing the same shit you've already seen a thousand times. And we wonder why the environment is in such bad shape. So, once that nonsense was over with, it would be back home to, well, either sit there staring into space, or worse, do the homework that was due the next day because, in addition to the day being crappy, there was school to look forward to the next day! The only upside was that my mom would usually make a pretty good dinner on Sunday, so that was nice. The rest of the day, however, just went on and on and on...

Lazy

It's 5:50. I have yet to change out of my pajamas. I see no point in doing it now.

Glory Hole Legality

Hey there, kiddies.

In my Law class last night we were discussing the right to privacy (does it actually exist, the verbiage of the rules, etc...). As an example, the professor used a case of two dudes who were busted in a public bathroom at Union Station. One guy was sucking off the other through a glory hole in the wall of the stall. Both men fought to get their cases tossed out on the grounds that the cop who busted them (he saw them through the crack in the stall door) violated their rights to privacy, as they were inside the stalls and, as such, had a reason expectation to privacy. Turns out, one guy got off (hehehe) and the other didn't. Why? Because the guy who was in his own stall DID have a reasonable expectation to his privacy, and was free to go. The guy who stuck his dork through the hole gave up his right to privacy, as he willingly crossed physically over into the next stall. So take note, all ye who enjoy getting anonymous BJs in public bathrooms: You'll be in less trouble if your the sucker than if you're the suckee. Now go enjoy your day.

Thursday

I'm watching Butler play LSU. Close game. I have a giant headache and a zit on my lip the size of a Buick. And I still have to go to class tonight. Balls.

White Trash Marketing

I saw an ad for one of those direct marketing schemes on TV today. I've seen them several times before, and I always wondered why all of the "success stories," i.e., the actors who got the parts to play the allegedly successful people, were always excited about the RVs they were able to buy. I always thought that was odd. Why was a RV such a prize, other than to show that you could have that much disposable income to piss away on something like that. And then I realized why they do it. They are marketing to people who already in trailers. A big fancy RV would be a big step up for them. Anyone who lives in an actual home (that they own) wouldn't buy into a crappy pyramid scheme like that unless they weren't educated enough to know the difference. Also, they would be stupid enough to believe you could make $8000 per week selling vitamins to their friends.

Plan O' Attack

Hey there, kiddies.

Motivation is a tricky thing. I woke up today with a fairly specific plan of attack for the day. The actual desire to get any of those things done died about 8 seconds after I got out of bed. Ugh.

Still, I've managed to shake my ass. The oil in my car got changed. Oh, this pissed me off. I'm at Saturn getting the oil changed (as I do every 3000 miles, like you should), and after a while the service tech lady person comes over to give me the list of things that need to be checked on my car. What pisses me off is that, even though I got these things fix AND I GOT THEM FIXED AT SATURN, FOR FUCKS SAKE, these "problems" still come up on their list. If I didn't pay attention, I would have had my water pump changed 4 times in the past year. I don't want to knock Saturn too much, as they've treated me rather well over the past 10 years (156K miles and counting), but still, WTF?

What was I talking about?

Why, exactly?

Hey there, kiddies.

This is something I've planned on doing for a while now. I was going to start it a couple months back, but I never really got around to it for a variety of reasons, mostly nap-related. But sometimes I have things to say. Other times I don't. When I do, I'm usually complaining. Normally I sit at home and complain to myself, or save it up until my wife gets home and dump it all on her. I'm pretty sure she's been tuning me out for the last two years. So now I'm aiming my cannon of rage on you, the Internet community. That, or I'll just bore everyone with the random thoughts that wander through my consciousness. Depends on the day.

Anyway, that's about it. Keep on reading.